I love Shaun so much. I’ve never loved anyone in my life apart from family and friends and pets but that’s different. It’s weird. He’s been my first everything. Since I was sixteen. Like J Depp to Winona. He’s my J Depp. I wish this relationship had happened a lot earlier but I’m still so grateful that it’s happened at all. He’s made me really happy in such a small amount of time. But I’m really scared that he’s gonna get sick of me/annoyed by me and leave. I don’t think that he even would do that but you never know? If that happened I’d be so so heartbroken. The idea of him being with anyone else makes me so sad. I’m not a jealous person but that would break me. I’m not brown haired and I don’t read Murakami books and I don’t listen to My Bloody Valentine and I’m terrified that he’s gonna realise that I’m not as great as he thought I was which is a stupid way of thinking but that’s how my brain is working at the minute. I don’t want to sound desperate and clingy. I just love him so much.